TOPIC: WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.......

        WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.......

        Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

           
        8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
        9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
        9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
        10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
        12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
        1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
        3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
        5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
        7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
        8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
        11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
               

              Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary..
       
               
        Day 983 of my captivity...

        My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

        Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

        The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

        Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet..  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.  Bastards.

        There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

        Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

        I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

        The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  For now.................
       

LOL

This is hilarious.