TOPIC: Best Divorce Letter -ever

Dear wife:

      I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you

forever I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.  Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.  Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a

brand new pair of silk boxers.  You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to

sleep after watching all of your soaps.  You don't tell me you love me

anymore;  you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband &

wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;

whatever the case, I'm gone.

      Your EX- husband

P.S. Don't try to find me.  Your SISTER & I are moving away to

West Virginia together!  Have a great life!

***

Dear Ex-Husband,

      Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.  It's

true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry

from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that  doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.  And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.  About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.  After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the  fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

    Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was

born Carl.

I hope that's not a problem.

That's awesome!!

Ew?

Can I get an all around ew?

LOL. Ewww

P. s. to Carl -

In West Virginia they have 2 million people and 23 last names...

P. s. to Carl -

In West Virginia they have 2 million people and 23 last names...

Ouch!

I wish the names in the story had not been what they are for my sake anyway.