• 888-750-4777
  • This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Welcome, Guest
Username: Password: Remember me
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2

TOPIC: Difference between a cat and a dog

Difference between a cat and a dog 12 years 6 months ago #43582

  • Bert de Haan
  • Bert de Haan's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • If it is worth doing, it's worth doing well.
  • Posts: 741
  • Thank you received: 0

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary......

[]

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...



Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards...

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Bert de Haan
www.KitchenerWaterlooHomeInspector.ca
Benchmark Home Inspection Services Kitchener-Wateroo and Guelph area Home Inspection
Serving Kitchener-Waterloo, Guelph, Orangeville, Mount Forest and surrounding areas.
Keywords: Kitchener-Waterloo home inspector, Guelph home inspection,...

Re: Difference between a cat and a dog 12 years 6 months ago #43583

There is an easy way to fool people about their pets as well.

You can make a cat sound like a dog, and a dog sound like a cat......


"Make a cat sound like a dog"........  douse it with gasoline and light it with a match......  WOOF.

"Make a dog sound like a cat"........  put it in the freezer until rock hard and then run it over the table saw......  Meeooooowwww

Please Log in to join the conversation.

There is nothing sweeter than the smell of fresh cut grass on a baseball infield, the click of a wooden bat and the taste of a hot dog at a warm sunny daytime double-header.

Re: Difference between a cat and a dog 12 years 6 months ago #43584

Stephen, you might need to see a shrink about your violent tendencies!

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Dominic Maricic
Home Inspector Pro Home Inspection Software - CEO

Re: Difference between a cat and a dog 12 years 6 months ago #43588

I suppose you have a thing against stir fry kittens as well.  Geez...

Please Log in to join the conversation.

There is nothing sweeter than the smell of fresh cut grass on a baseball infield, the click of a wooden bat and the taste of a hot dog at a warm sunny daytime double-header.

Re: Difference between a cat and a dog 12 years 6 months ago #43589

Aww Dom, Stephen really is an animal lover! He is always tweeting that he is about to go "Wok his dog"!!! ;)

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Jeffrey R. Jonas
507.213.7468
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

FB: www.facebook.com/MN.Home.Inspector

www.JRJConsultants.net
www.OwatonnaHomeInspector.com
www.MinnesotaCommercialBuildingInspections.com

URL: www.owatonnahomeinspector.com
Title: Critical Eye Property Inspections
Description: Providing...

Re: Difference between a cat and a dog 12 years 6 months ago #43594

Aww Dom, Stephen really is an animal lover! He is always tweeting that he is about to go "Wok his dog"!!! ;)


Now that was funny!

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Dominic Maricic
Home Inspector Pro Home Inspection Software - CEO
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2
Time to create page: 0.197 seconds
© 2004-2024 Home Inspector Pro Inc. All Rights Reserved.