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TOPIC: IRS Audit

IRS Audit 15 years 9 months ago #8668

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!!

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HLC Home Inspections LLC
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We are a licensed inspector for the state of Oklahoma.?  Our focus is Oklahoma City, Moore, Mustang, Yukon, Tuttle, and many other areas surrounding OKC.
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Re: IRS Audit 15 years 9 months ago #8674

  • James Levy
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LMAO and karma to you.



[move]KARMA[/move]

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www.homespectllc.com
Homespect LLC
Home and commercial Inspections in Medford, Mount Laurel, Cherry Hill, Voorhees, Marlton NJ, and the surrounding areas.

Re: IRS Audit 15 years 9 months ago #8682

LOL  thanks

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HLC Home Inspections LLC
www.OklahomaHomeInspector.biz
We are a licensed inspector for the state of Oklahoma.?  Our focus is Oklahoma City, Moore, Mustang, Yukon, Tuttle, and many other areas surrounding OKC.
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Re: IRS Audit 15 years 9 months ago #8701

  • Scott Widick
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  • Now thats thinkin with your dipstick Jimmy!
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THANX John,

I needed that laugh ;D

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SPACE EXPLORATIONS, LLC
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Monument, Castle Rock, Lone Tree, Pueblo,Clorado Springs

Re: IRS Audit 15 years 9 months ago #8747

Yeah I thought we could all use this one right about now!!!  lol

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HLC Home Inspections LLC
www.OklahomaHomeInspector.biz
We are a licensed inspector for the state of Oklahoma.?  Our focus is Oklahoma City, Moore, Mustang, Yukon, Tuttle, and many other areas surrounding OKC.
HLC-Home-Inspections-Oklahoma-City

HLC Home Inspections LLC...

Re: IRS Audit 15 years 9 months ago #8757

Oh man that's funny!

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Dominic Maricic
Home Inspector Pro Home Inspection Software - CEO
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