TOPIC: A guy walks into a bar

I figured I'd start this new section off  ;D


A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

From a 5th grader (soon to be 6th)...

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar...

LOL

This is why I'm an mechanic

This is from a female .
I have been married 9 times
Let me tell you what was wrong with the first eight men and why I am still with the 9th.........

My 1st husband was A musician,
All he wanted to do was play with it.

My 2nd husband was a doctor,
all he wanted to do was examine it.

My 3rd was a politician
all he wanted to do was make promises about it.

My 4th husband was a psychiatrist
all he wanted to do was talk about it.

My 5th husband was a photographer
all he wanted to do was take pictures of it.

My 6th husband was a policeman
All he wanted to do was keep it under lock and key.

My 7th husband was a hairdresser
all he did was tease it.

My 8th husband was a gourmet chef
all he did was taste it

My 9th husband, the last, is the man I'M married to now, and I like him the best.
He's a mechanic, he tore it up the first night and he's been working on it ever since.


This is why i'm a mechanic by trade.

LOL