TOPIC: A guy walks into a restaurant

This actually was sent to me by Harvey Sansoucy (another Home Inspector Pro) user via email.

A man walks  into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.  The  waitress asks them for their orders.
 
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time  later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40  please," and the man reaches into his

pocket and pulls out the  exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A  hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
 
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.
 
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
 
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
 
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,  sir. How  do you manage

to always come up with the exact change in your  pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.

When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  My  first wish was that if I

ever had to pay for anything, I would  just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money 

would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most  people would ask for a million dollars or something,

but you'll  always be as rich as you want for as long as you  live!"

"That's right. W hether  it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is  always

there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man  sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick  with a big butt

and long legs who agrees with everything I  say."

"So", he says to the horse, "why the long face?"

Dom,  I like your picture.  Did you dump the glasses and get contacts?

Flattery will get you no where. I'll be kicking your butt in Fantasy Football tomorrow.

You should be so lucky.  You are going down......  Regarding your picture..... If you add a bow tie, you would look just like Tucker Carlson.  ;D

Hmm, I do see the resemblance.